I don't feel qualified in my current job any more than the jobs I've had in the last five years. I'm tired of being told to "grow up" or "man up" because the Aspergers' Syndrome (which no mental health professional will diagnose me with for some strange reason) has made me incapable of functioning as a normal adult. The fiction career has failed. I now have two of the four clients at an assisted living house driving me crazy or to despair in recent days and weeks. I'm just not a people person and shouldn't be forced constantly to do people person jobs year after year. This is why I despair for a future that will never include anything in it I want. God has forsaken me to hell with two people I cannot stand and calling them just a paycheck doesn't salve my agonies being unable to cope with strangers.
The Frenchman John Paul Sarte was correct - hell is other people, and I'm in hell on Earth now.