So, I'm back at the keyboard in my spare time, getting stuff done, but still with no Internet apart from brief periods at my local library (where I am typing this currently). My dead end job feels like more of a dead end than ever, and I cannot prove my possible Asperger's Syndrome disability is sufficient to get any sort of help in a desperate situation where I've accumulated non-repayable medical debts and other expenses building up. People say count your blessings, but I just don't see continued survival and living every day as blessings. My life and its mistakes have been a never-ending curse from which death would be the only release. I see everything through a dark glass, despite being saved by Jesus Christ. I remain a pessimist and an unfulfilled perfectionist. If those two conditions are not proof of insanity, then what is?