Pardon my self-indulgence in a time when the US Government is literally and morally bankrupt, but I will return to my essay about terrible turning points in our nation's history soon enough. Earlier today, when going through some Real Player files I've collected over the last five years, I came up with a list of about 20 songs - mostly pop/rock music but a few country ones also (aka white man's blues). Here is a list, with comments on why they mean so much to me in keeping alive my emotional romantic wound from 1986 when I try to forget it and can't. They are in alphabetical order.
Don Henley "The Boys of Summer." Clearly this one is about lamentations on a past love that slipped away, just as I lost someone I thought I loved, first to a boy of summer (player, leisure studies major in college and a former close friend he was all of that) and then ten years after I first met her to the man she married.
Duran Duran "Ordinary World." Both the song I would imagine I'd have wanted for the wedding to the girl that broke my heart in real life, and some of its lyrics communicate how close I wish I'd been to her but wasn't.
Dwight Yokam "A Heart like Mine." This one just makes me think of her, because I wish I could say things to her from those lyrics.
Gin Blossoms "Found out about You." Some lyrics suggest how betrayed I felt by her even though we never dated (she rejected my request) and how I was jealous of her boyfriend (mentioned above), plus how I say she was a party whore from some of her partying/spring break photos her friends posted on Facebook - never knowing her that way even casually.
Gotye "Just Somebody that I used to know." The title sums up what she is to me now, but that's the only reason I think of her when hearing the song.
John Mellencamp "Rumble Seat." One line he sings about being afraid to call up a girl on the phone reflects my timidness at ever trying to win her heart after I was rejected in 1986 even though never able to forget her.
Mike and the Mechanics "Over my Shoulder." Several different choruses express things I wish I could say to her about wanting a second chance. Another of their songs "Living Years" is so poignant about my own relationship with my late father that I cannot stand listening to it any longer without crying.
Phil Collins "Against all Odds." Even though it's one of his lament love songs about a failed early marriage, I find the lyrics poignant in expressing how I felt about the girl in question that she never felt about toward me.
Phil Collins "Do you know, do you care." Another of his powerful post-divorce songs, it expresses things I want to say to my unrequited love who has been dead since December 9, 2004.
Phil Collins "I don't care anymore." The third Collins song I am affected by the emotions behind. It's what I want to say to her face but can't because she's gone and I cannot let go my disappointment we never ended up together.
Richard Marx "Should've known better." The main chorus is what I also would like to say to her, but the song is about an intense love affair gone sour. Of course I was in that much teenage puppy love with her but the feeling was never mutual.
Stevie Nicks with Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers "Stop dragging my Heart around." A classic about lovers drifting apart. I think of her when hearing it, even though we were never boyfriend and girlfriend (due to her rejection of me).
The Killers "Runaways." There's something behind the emotions from that song making me think of her, even if the lyrics don't fit our situation.
The Lumineers "Ho Hey." Certain lyrics and the chorus "I belong with you, you belong with me in my sweet heart" are what I wish I could've sang to her back in the mid-1980s if the song had existed, every time I hear it.
The Moody Blues "Knights in White Satin." The line which says "Letters I've written, never meaning to send" reflects how I once wrote her a letter trying to explain my feelings (and say goodbye) in 1991, but never had the courage to ever mail it.
The Moody Blues "Your Wildest Dreams." This song's mellow lamentation for a past love lost over time and the regret depicted in the video make me think of how I never got her.
Toby Keith "How do you like me now?" The one question I'd have like to ask her if I was a successful author and she was still alive and married to that chiropractor. But of course I'm a failure and she'd dead now.
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers "A Woman in Love." Many lyrics in this song make me think of how she broke my heart when I hear it.
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers "I should've known it." The anger toward a betraying woman in that song, especially the line "that's the last time you're gonna hurt me" makes me think of her stabbing my heart that September night in 1986 at that football game.
Yes "Owner of a Lonely Heart." Obviously the title describes me and some of the lyrics suggest hope to try harder about romance (even if I can't and seemed doomed to remain alone).
There you have it, another glimpse into my damaged psyche messed up by one pretty girl I went to high school with for two years (and although I didn't know her before then one year of junior high also) and knew over a 28-month period. I nevef got closure on the night she broke my heart or had the nerve to ever speak to her again after that emotionally devestating September night.
Don Henley "The Boys of Summer." Clearly this one is about lamentations on a past love that slipped away, just as I lost someone I thought I loved, first to a boy of summer (player, leisure studies major in college and a former close friend he was all of that) and then ten years after I first met her to the man she married.
Duran Duran "Ordinary World." Both the song I would imagine I'd have wanted for the wedding to the girl that broke my heart in real life, and some of its lyrics communicate how close I wish I'd been to her but wasn't.
Dwight Yokam "A Heart like Mine." This one just makes me think of her, because I wish I could say things to her from those lyrics.
Gin Blossoms "Found out about You." Some lyrics suggest how betrayed I felt by her even though we never dated (she rejected my request) and how I was jealous of her boyfriend (mentioned above), plus how I say she was a party whore from some of her partying/spring break photos her friends posted on Facebook - never knowing her that way even casually.
Gotye "Just Somebody that I used to know." The title sums up what she is to me now, but that's the only reason I think of her when hearing the song.
John Mellencamp "Rumble Seat." One line he sings about being afraid to call up a girl on the phone reflects my timidness at ever trying to win her heart after I was rejected in 1986 even though never able to forget her.
Mike and the Mechanics "Over my Shoulder." Several different choruses express things I wish I could say to her about wanting a second chance. Another of their songs "Living Years" is so poignant about my own relationship with my late father that I cannot stand listening to it any longer without crying.
Phil Collins "Against all Odds." Even though it's one of his lament love songs about a failed early marriage, I find the lyrics poignant in expressing how I felt about the girl in question that she never felt about toward me.
Phil Collins "Do you know, do you care." Another of his powerful post-divorce songs, it expresses things I want to say to my unrequited love who has been dead since December 9, 2004.
Phil Collins "I don't care anymore." The third Collins song I am affected by the emotions behind. It's what I want to say to her face but can't because she's gone and I cannot let go my disappointment we never ended up together.
Richard Marx "Should've known better." The main chorus is what I also would like to say to her, but the song is about an intense love affair gone sour. Of course I was in that much teenage puppy love with her but the feeling was never mutual.
Stevie Nicks with Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers "Stop dragging my Heart around." A classic about lovers drifting apart. I think of her when hearing it, even though we were never boyfriend and girlfriend (due to her rejection of me).
The Killers "Runaways." There's something behind the emotions from that song making me think of her, even if the lyrics don't fit our situation.
The Lumineers "Ho Hey." Certain lyrics and the chorus "I belong with you, you belong with me in my sweet heart" are what I wish I could've sang to her back in the mid-1980s if the song had existed, every time I hear it.
The Moody Blues "Knights in White Satin." The line which says "Letters I've written, never meaning to send" reflects how I once wrote her a letter trying to explain my feelings (and say goodbye) in 1991, but never had the courage to ever mail it.
The Moody Blues "Your Wildest Dreams." This song's mellow lamentation for a past love lost over time and the regret depicted in the video make me think of how I never got her.
Toby Keith "How do you like me now?" The one question I'd have like to ask her if I was a successful author and she was still alive and married to that chiropractor. But of course I'm a failure and she'd dead now.
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers "A Woman in Love." Many lyrics in this song make me think of how she broke my heart when I hear it.
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers "I should've known it." The anger toward a betraying woman in that song, especially the line "that's the last time you're gonna hurt me" makes me think of her stabbing my heart that September night in 1986 at that football game.
Yes "Owner of a Lonely Heart." Obviously the title describes me and some of the lyrics suggest hope to try harder about romance (even if I can't and seemed doomed to remain alone).
There you have it, another glimpse into my damaged psyche messed up by one pretty girl I went to high school with for two years (and although I didn't know her before then one year of junior high also) and knew over a 28-month period. I nevef got closure on the night she broke my heart or had the nerve to ever speak to her again after that emotionally devestating September night.